too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
