My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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