I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
