i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
