Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize
