I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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