tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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