Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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