:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
