32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
