Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
