You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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