he thought i was a dude.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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