we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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