made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
