is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Your dad touched me again.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
