that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize