Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
