New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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