I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
