Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
