We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
