Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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