You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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