he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
