I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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