I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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