shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Who died my cat blue again?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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