Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
