so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
