If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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