I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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