I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Randomize
