it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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