Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
