Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize