My hand turned me down
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
