I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
