i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize