Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize