Please don't use social media to get back at me.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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