Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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