My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
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You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
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I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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