imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
My life is pants optional.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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