i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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