4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize