Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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