I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
