remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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