What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
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God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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