I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The power of my boobs compel you
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
