so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize