You just made me feel so damn special
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Come back. Shots need mouths.
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