I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
