I saw his package. It spoke to me.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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