I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
My vagina just recognized that song.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
