How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
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As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
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Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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