OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
we're making bets on your personal life
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
