You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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