Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
