Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
